24 Hours of LeMons

The old adage in racing is "Speed costs money. How fast can you afford?" And thats the problem for most people who would love to go racing. It's just too darned expensive. But what if you don't care about winning? What if you just want to get out on a racetrack and drive a car as fast as you can? The 24 Hours of LeMons is the answer.

The rules are pretty straight-forward: It is open only to cars that cost less than $500 to buy and make ready for racing. Buy a rustheap off of Craigslist or out of the weekly shopper, fix whatever needs to be fixed and go racing. Of course there are safety rules. This is real racing after all. It has to have a roll cage, a racing seat and racing seatbelts, etc. But that sort of stuff is less expensive than you think, and anything related to safety (the aforementioned items, racing suits, racing helmets, wheels, brakes, tires, etc) do not count against the $500 limit. If you bring a an obvious cheater of a car, they're going to punish you, and hard. To discourage cheaters, at the mid point of the race, there are two awards given: The People's Choice and The People's Curse. The People's Choice gets a $1500 prize, paid in bags of nickels. The People's Curse gets crushed. No arguments, just take it like a man (or woman). You've got 30 minutes to get the wheels off and any of the safety equipment out of the car, then the backhoe comes in and does it's job. Don't want your car crushed? Don't bring a cheater. And if that's not enough discouragement against cheaters, they also have a claim rule: The organizers can buy any car they want for $500. Go ahead and read the rules and the FAQ at their website. It's nearly as much fun as the racing. The point is, get yourself a beater and have some fun.

The rules are arbitrary when it comes to on track action. Drive like a douche and get penalized. Keep driving like a douche and get put on the trailer and sent home. Whine to the judges and get punished. Say something stupid to the judges and get a new paint job. Show up with a great theme that the judges love and you'll be immortalized.

You have an old Dodge Caravan minivan? Paint it up like the Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? Got a couple of VW Golfs? Paint one all in black and the other all in white and dress like the guys from Spy-Vs-Spy, complete with long, conical noses. Got a bunch of pink flamingos lying around your front yard? Glue them to the top of your 25-year-old Civic wagon. Shag carpeting? It goes on the Pinto, not in the rec room. Can't live without giant wings on both ends of your Volvo wagon? Don't hesitate, live your dream! It's as much art-car parade as race. And nothing but fun.